How to Recognize When You Are Triggered

Triggers are a way our body communicates important information to us about what is and isn’t tolerable. While many people immediately want to know why they are triggered, a more important question to ask in the moment is “What is happening for me right now?” and get very detailed about the answer.

Let’s take a closer look at how to recognize you are getting triggered using the clues your body and its response may be giving you.

What is a trigger?

A trigger is reminder of painful situations, experiences or memories (explicit or not) of the past that is being felt and experienced in the present moment.

Imagine that a trigger is like a bolt of lightning: it may be brewing behind a storm for a while or it may come out of nowhere, striking in a spot and leaving it feeling raw and exposed.

Triggers most often involve time travel. Meaning they are messengers of the past, letting us know what is still hurting, what may need attention and care.

Triggers can encompass many stimuli. They can be environmental such as sounds, sights, smells, tastes. They can also be situational, like seeing a cat if you were attacked by one as a child, experiencing weather patterns similar to ones that have caused a natural disaster, hearing fireworks if you were ever in a combat zone.

Beyond environmental and situational, triggers can also be interpersonal, such as witnessing/being in fights, yelling, experiencing tension, feeling unheard or unseen, being dismissed.

Window of tolerance

To better explain what happens to our bodies when we are triggered, let’s briefly take a look at this model below.

Our nervous system has three different states of functioning:

• hyperarousal, where we are anxious, activated, distressed, flushed, unable to think clearly, irritated and angry;

• hypoarousal, where we are numb, frozen, emotionally cut off, “playing dead”, moving very little, zoned out, dissociated;

• and a space in between them – window of tolerance, where we are grounded, calm, can access both cognition and emotion, and are able to socially connect.

When we are triggered, we are taken out of our window of tolerance and into one of these other states – hypo- or hyperarousal. Meaning we either get really agitated and active, or really slowed and shut down.

We all have different windows of tolerance. Some may be bigger, some smaller. For those who experienced trauma, their window of tolerance may be particularly small, as the nervous system has been in overdrive for a very long time and as a result has trouble being in a grounded, well functioning state.

How do we recognize we are triggered?

1. Follow your body’s clues

Because triggers involve our bodies and its physical responses, the first thing to do is to notice what our bodies are telling us.

When triggered, listen to your physiology. Here are some pointers to get you started:

• How is my body feeling right now?

• What is the rate of my breathing?

• Am I experiencing any tension in a particular body area, such as chest or stomach?

• What is my temperature? Do I feel hot/flushed or cold/unmoving?

• What is my relational desire right now? Do I want to yell or pick a fight with someone? Do I want to hide and disengage? Do I want to lose myself in a TV series/video game/food/wine/sex, etc.?

2. Access proportionality

When we are triggered, frequently our reactions are out of proportion to the event/situation/person itself. For example, if we find ourselves yelling at our partner because they forgot to buy milk at the store, this may be a clue to realizing that we are triggered.

Look for proportionality – is the response in proportion to the stimulus? Or do you feel like more may be going on than what appears on the surface?

3. Do you have access to your cognition?

In a state of being triggered, the blood in our brain rushed to our limbic system, also known as the “lizard brain”. In this part of the brain nothing matters more than safety and survival.

This also means we do not have as much access to higher cognitive function.

Ask yourself:

• Can I add 32 and 14 on the spot?

• Can I remember a line in my favorite poem?

• (for those to whom English is a second language) Can I speak English freely right now? It’s not uncommon for foreign language speakers to switch to their native tongue when triggered.

If the answer is no, and/or it’s a struggle to even process and answer the question, it may be a sign you are triggered, and what your brain and body need right now is to be assured of your safety and protection.

How do I come back to myself?

Any type of grounding exercise or activity can help you come back to your window of tolerance, or your calm state. Read this blog post for specific exercises that can help you get back to your green zone.

The most important thing to remember is experiencing triggers is a normal part of being alive and being human. It does not mean something is wrong with you, or that you are broken. It simply means there are parts of you that need care, tenderness and attention.

With gentleness, help and support, you too can become adept at navigating your triggers and get back to yourself quicker and quicker.

Thank you for reading and being here. If you are interested in learning more about working with me, please click here to contact me and schedule a free 15 minute consultation to connect.