Love Languages

Love Languages
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About Love Languages

Love languages can be a therapy buzzword and confusing to some. Understanding it can help blossom romantic and intimate relationships. If you want to really show your partner that you love and appreciate them, knowing their love language and implementing it will be a great benefit. On the other hand, knowing your love language and teaching it to your partner can help them show you their love.

The idea of the five love languages comes from a book by Gary Chapman which is not surprisingly called: The Five Love Languages. The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch

Words of affirmation: Being told “I love you”, “you are beautiful/handsome”, or other encouraging words and compliments.

Acts of service: If you feel love and appreciation when your partner does something to help you out. Examples are helping with chores or bringing home dinner.

Receiving gifts: If receiving thoughtful gifts makes you feel cared for and loved.

Quality time: When your partner spends time with you doing something meaningful.

Physical touch: When you feel cared for by your partner from non-sexual touching, like hugs, hand holding, or other affectionate touches.

We can feel loved by receiving each of these different love languages, but we all typically have different primary love languages or rankings for them.

Understanding Your Partner and Yourself

You and your partner may have different love languages. When you know your primary love language you can communicate it to your partner so they can be sure to act more on it. Likewise, if you know your partner’s primary love language, then you can actively express your love for them through it. There is a quiz online to assess your love languages through 5lovelanguages.com which is the official website for the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

Most people tend to show affection to our partners based on our own primary love language. But love languages do not describe how we like to express love to others; they describe how we like to receive love. Acting on our partner’s primary love language can help further develop intimacy and growth in the relationship. It encourages learning more about your partner which can also help further bonding. Understanding you or your partner’s primary love language is a great tool to help understand your/their values as well.

The idea of love languages can be adapted for any relationship, like friendships and family relationships. Using the same five languages (probably with less romance) your friendships and family relationships can grow.

About the Author

John Loh is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate at Finding Peace Counseling Center in The Woodlands, TX. John’s Specialties includes men’s Issues, anxiety disorders, and relationship issues, and he works with individuals, couples, and families.  For more information on relationship issues, contact Finding Peace Counseling Center today by calling 832-306-2969 or email [email protected] for more information. You can also schedule an appointment now by visiting the Finding Peace Counseling Center website.

References

Discover your love language. (2021). 5lovelanguages. Retrieved Aug 26, 2021 from https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

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