Why Do We Need Boundaries?

Creating a meaningful life for ourselves requires a great deal of insight and reflection: Who are we? Who do we want to be? Who do we want to have supported us in that endeavor? Why? These are important questions to ask ourselves because it grounds us in the present moment and it sets an intentional path for us to follow on our life’s journey. Nevertheless, sometimes, we find that our aspirations and goals are not necessarily supported by the people around us. A healthy relationship can be defined as two or more people who mutually support one another when it comes to their personal growth and self-actualization.

However, sometimes we have people in our lives who aren’t necessarily good for us and our mental well-being; whether that be toxic family members, people from our past who haven’t achieved much personal growth, or new acquaintances who seem caring and positive yet their behaviors prove otherwise. Our first line of defense in this life scenario is to set and uphold boundaries. Boundaries are our way of saying, “I want you in my life, but it has to be on certain terms.” If the people you set boundaries with can respect them, great! It shows that they respect you and that they care about you. On the other hand, if your boundaries are challenged, questioned, or even downright ignored, it reveals that this person is only thinking about themselves and that it’s time to practice self-care and protect yourself; whether that be distancing yourself from them or even cutting them out of your life completely.

Setting and upholding boundaries with others can be one of the most difficult things to do. The goal is to surround ourselves with those who care about us and who want to see us grow and become our best selves. You would most certainly want the same for them. Working with a mental health professional can give you the insight and tools to manifest your life with those you want to have in it on mutually acceptable terms.