Finding the right therapist (for you)

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The new year means starting therapy for many people, and a common question I get is, where do I even start?  Here are a list of things to help:

1.  Figure out if you want to use insurance or private pay.  If going the insurance route, start with their website for a list of providers.  Another option if you have insurance is to call and ask if you have what’s called an “out of network benefit” where the insurance company will reimburse you for part of the cost of therapy.  Many therapists (like me!) will provide what’s called a “superbill” for you to submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement.

2. If you go the private pay route, your options will be expanded greatly.  Many therapists (like me!) offer sliding scale rates, so if you want to proceed with someone who is private pay, it’s always ok to ask if that’s an option. I recommend talking to friends who have been in therapy, or your primary care physician for recommendations too. Personal referrals are always the best route. You can also check on Mental Health Match, Therapy Den, The Consult List, or Open Path Collective if you would qualify for low fee therapy (you have to provide financial information to join).

3. Next, think about who your ideal therapist would be; this is important. Consider who you would feel most comfortable talking to ie: gender of therapist, any specialties you would want (if so, make sure the therapist specializes in that area specifically), race, religious affiliations etc.. The most important thing is for you to be comfortable. Also consider if you want virtual or in person, or a combination of both which many therapists  (like me!)  offer these days.

4. Consider what issues you want to address, and what type of therapy you may want, there are a lot of options out there.  For example, I offer therapy that is goal oriented for adults struggling with stress and anxiety, or going through life transitions, who work well with a little more structure, as goals are created and reviewed regularly.  There are therapists who are generalists, and then also those that specialize in areas like PTSD and trauma, therapy that focuses on your body, your thoughts and behaviors, and so many more.

5. Once you identify who you want to work with, start sending emails or make calls and schedule a free consultation (yes, I know this can be the hardest part!). Any reputable therapist is going to a) get back to you, even if it takes a few days, and b) offer at least a brief phone call to discuss what you are looking for. Pay attention to this part, it will reveal information about how that therapist operates.

6. When you do talk to the therapist, pay attention to how you feel during the call.  Be sure to ask any questions you have (I suggest making a list ahead of time), listen to their answers and follow your gut instinct-this is very important.  If you are left with questions, take time before you proceed-again, anybody reputable won’t pressure you into booking an appointment on the spot.

Recognize that, like any new relationship, it takes time to get comfortable, especially if you are new to therapy. It can take several sessions to begin to open up and that’s totally normal. Give yourself at least a few months to see how it goes, and talk to your therapist about any questions or concerns you may have. It can be a daunting task to find a new therapist, but I hope these tips will help to get you started.  It’s truly the best gift you can give yourself in 2023. If I can be of help in the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

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