Thinking about Therapy?
Take our quiz to see therapists who are a good match for you.
Take our quiz to see therapists who are a good match for you.
Whether or not you’re looking for a therapist to talk about identity issues, it’s still a good idea to make sure your therapist has done the work to understand how cultural backgrounds impact the therapeutic process and inform behaviors. This is not to say that every therapist will know absolutely everything about every social identity that ever has and will exist — but they should at the very least be able to recognize their own biases and understand that experiences are not universal to every person within a given culture. Your therapist should be willing to do their own homework to learn more when gaps in their knowledge are found. In reality, the intricacies, complexities, and sheer volume of cultural experiences suggest no one therapist could reach a state of complete cultural competency – that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though. We’re always learning.
That being said, you have a right to feel comfortable with your clinician. You shouldn’t need to be the one educating your therapist about systemic issues you face as a result of your identity. Of course, it’s common to talk about your specific experiences of being a single unique individual interacting with the world. However, to feel like your therapist doesn’t understand what it means to be a representative of a marginalized identity, at the very least on an intellectual level… well that can significantly impede your progress in therapy.
As an example, a few years ago when I was in search of my own therapist, I began working with a clinician who had a wealth of clinical experience and seemed to specialize in the issues I wanted to work on. When I mentioned, however, that part of my daily stress came from living in an environment that I did not feel comfortable sharing my queer identity in, she had a strong reaction.
“I can’t help you with that,” she said quickly, “I don’t have any experience working with the LGBT population.” This felt immensely disappointing. I thought I had finally found a good therapeutic match after months of searching – I told her she likely had worked with a number of folks in the LGBTQ+ community who might not have shared that part of themselves with her. I told her if we were to continue working together, I expected her to do some research on working with LGBTQ+ individuals in a therapeutic context. Although I wasn’t in therapy to primarily address my own identity stressors, we only worked together for a few months before I decided it was just not a good fit. I found it really hard to work with her when every time something about my queerness came up she got visibly uncomfortable.
These days, in any consult I do with a new clinician, I ask them about their experience working with the queer community and if something in their response reads off (i.e., Oh it [my identity] doesn’t bother me) then I know we just won’t be a good fit. I’d encourage you to ask your therapist what experience they have working with BIPOC, gender diversity, disability, and/or whatever aspect of your identity is important for your clinician to be experienced in working with – even if it’s not your primary reason for seeking therapy.
In my next post, I’ll share some tips on where to search for and find a clinician who competently works with gender/sexually diverse identities. Until then, please take a look at the resources I’ve linked below for identity-specific mental health support or take a peek at my website here to learn more about how I work with identity factors in therapy.
Resources:
Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective
