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I wrote this blog post in the winter of 2021 while I was a grief counselor at a hospice agency. I hope that you can find it helpful and supportive during any holiday season.
With it being the holiday season, it is important to check in on yourself and how you are feeling. This is especially true if you are facing the grief of any kind. Grief comes in many different forms and it is the natural response to the loss of any kind. Whether you lost a person or pet that you love dearly, faced changes in your life, or are uncertain about the future: your grief is valid.
Your grief may become amplified during the holiday season. For many, the holidays are the highlight of the year and we remember the best of these experiences. They come to symbolize the passage of time. But now, they mean that another year has gone by without our loved ones. It means that we’ve experienced another year of COVID-19. Another year has gone by, and the losses may continue to pile up. With that in mind, how do we face grief during the holidays?
First, remember to be gentle with yourself. You are facing something very difficult, and your grief may come out in many different ways. You may need to cry, shout, or laugh. You may need to do all three at the same time. Make sure you tune into your grief emotions. Let them come to the surface and gently release them. You may find comfort in journaling or listening to music. Practice the self-care strategies that help you to feel better afterward. Be patient with yourself.
Next, try to set healthy boundaries and create a holiday plan. What does a comfortable holiday season look like for you? Do you find it hard thinking about going to a holiday gathering? Or is this something that you look forward to? Whatever feels right to you is the right thing to do. Everyone grieves in different ways. Just as no two snowflakes are identical, no two grievers will walk the same grief journey. Your grief is unique and true to you. Do what feels right and set boundaries with others when needed.
Finally, ask for some help and support when you feel that you need it. We are not meant to grieve on our own. A validating and kind support system is essential in any grief journey. It is even more important during the holiday season when everything can seem more isolating. Try to identify the person or people you can call anytime for support and kindness. You can even join a grief support group or find a grief counselor. Remember that it is good to lean on others when you feel alone.
Although not an exhaustive list of how to cope with grief during the holidays, hopefully, some of these tips can help ease the grief. Be gentle with yourself, create healthy boundaries, make a holiday plan, and seek out support. Remember that you and your grief are unique snowflakes: you will not have the same shape, form, or journey as any other person. We wish you a peaceful holiday season.
All my love,
Nikki
