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With constant access to information online and social media, children are more aware of current events. As a result, it’s important for us to have critical conversations about the war in Ukraine. As a licensed counselor and mom myself, I’m using these conversations to teach my sons about ethics, racism, and the importance of compassion.
Here are some tips you can use to talk to your kids or students:
1. Listen
Before you start informing them about the war, ask them to share with you what they already know and how they came to their conclusions. Children learn more from active engagement rather than hearing someone lecturing them. Over time, actively engaging with kids promotes critical thinking skills.
2. Share Information About the War
Depending on a child’s age, you can conduct some research with them about the history of Ukraine and Russia and figure out the possible reasons why the war is taking place. Typically, kids are modeling our behavior from ages 2-6 and are still distinguishing between what’s actually real and pretend. It’s recommended to start talking to kids about ethics and fairness at around age 7. However, you can start earlier, depending on the developmental level of your child.
Here are some questions that you can ask:
a. What are your thoughts about the civilians in Ukraine?
b. What do you think about the mistreatment of the African and Indian college students while attempting to flee Ukraine?
3. Validate Their Feelings
You can validate a child’s feelings by restating what they just shared in your own words. For example, you can say in response, “It sounds like you’re saying that…..” You can also share how you feel about the war, as well.
4. Teach Kids to Be an Agent of Change
In order to empower kids, it’s important to ask them what we can do to help. If they have any friends who have family in Ukraine, they can write a letter to them to show compassion. You can also research and find an organization to donate to that would support Ukraine. Use give.org as a screening tool and type a charity’s name to see if it’s legitimate. One organization that we support is Global Empowerment Mission.
5. Don’t Forget About Local Issues
Remember to also address the issues in your backyard. While supporting our international community, it’s important to work on solving your local problems, as well. In Philadelphia, one of our major issues is gun violence. For example, “The city’s 486 shooting deaths last year is up to 23% from 2020” (Open Data Philly via PCGVR). Therefore, it’s important to support organizations like the Anti-Violence Partnership of Philadelphia.
6. Seek Psychoeducational Resources
Seek additional resources and guides to assist in having critical conversations. I wrote a guide in 2020 for educators and parents” called “How Was Your Summer?” to assist in teaching kids how to cope with change. It has 15 minute activities that educators can use in their classroom and a home connection portion for parents to reinforce each activity. The activities are tailored for children from grades K-12.
Seek additional resources and guides to assist in having critical conversations. I wrote a guide in 2020 for educators and parents” called “How Was Your Summer?” to assist in teaching kids how to cope with change. It has 15 minute activities that educators can use in their classroom and a home connection portion for parents to reinforce each activity. The activities are tailored for children from grades K-12.
7. Teach Empathy
It’s important for all of us to remember that we all can be refugees. Refugee status is not designed for only “certain” people. In a time of war, anyone can be displaced in the effort to escape danger.
8. Limit Exposure to Media
As you stay on top of the latest news, it’s important to set boundaries on the amount of media you and your kids take in. I recommend have a critical conversation about the sensationalism in news and media to children over age 7. You can have a dialogue about why extreme topics gain more views.
9. Engage in Self-Care
It’s important to take moments to disengage when you sense that you are overwhelmed with news coverage or simply life stressors. It’s important to engage is self care activities such as journaling, exercising, and counseling. Remember that a coping skill can simply be any activity that you enjoy. So make sure to carve out time to have fun! Below is a picture of my sons enjoying nature.
10. Utilize Your Community
Last but not least, remember it takes a village to raise a child. As we have these critical conversations, we can gain support from our neighbors, schools, churches, and the list goes on. We don’t have to figure things out alone. I’m always eager to hear about how other parents are processing current events with their kids because I learn so much through my community.
Thanks for stopping by!
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Regards,
Jenny Delacruz, MS, LPC, NCC
Licensed Professional Counselor
https://www.
267-291-4558
