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Mama, I wrote about it in my book, but it’s important for us to talk about our mental health and wellness any chance we can. It’s important for us to talk about perinatal and postpartum mental health, and it’s important for us to talk about our mental health as we enter new chapters of motherhood. I have lived with baseline anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, I experienced postpartum anxiety (PPA) after I had both of my babies. It was the worst and it’s still the worst when it creeps up.
If you have anxiety or have ever experienced anxiety, you know what it can do to your mind, body, and soul. Anxiety can take over the thoughts in our mind and make us overthink things or situations, often called rumination. Anxiety can take over our body in many different ways, such as overeating, not eating at all (this is how it shows up for me), or affects our sleep. Anxiety can take over our soul at times too, robbing us from the joys of the present moment because we’re consumed with our worries. All of these things are normal, relatable, and justified. But, it can be hard to live with sometimes.
There are many reputable and validating books and resources on how to cope with anxiety, so for the sake of keeping this blog post short and sweet, I won’t go into much detail. However, mama, it’s important for us to find ways to cope with our anxiety (or other mental health struggles when they come up). When I’m experiencing anxiety or an anxiety attack, the first (and probably best) thing I do is allow myself to feel my feelings. If I need to cry, I let it out, no matter where I am or who I’m with. Our feelings matter and they deserve to take up space, mama. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
The next thing I do is lean into the support that I have. For me, in my new role as a mama, my support looks different than it has before. My husband, sisters, and mom are the most validating people in my life. They know when my anxiety shows up and they know how to help guide me through it. One of my dearest friends – who also experiences anxiety – has taught me a few tricks that also help when anxiety creeps up. One of them is fact-checking our thoughts (something I talk about in my book). The other is finding a way to release our thoughts after we give ourselves permission to feel them. The metaphor that she has liked to use lately is: when you experience anxiety or an anxious thought, you put it into a basket, which then goes into a flowing river. You watch the river take your basket away, symbolizing the anxious thoughts that once lived in your brain floating away from you.
Although there are an infinite number of ways to cope with anxiety, one of the final strategies I will leave you with is self-care in the form of nature. For me, this looks like going on a walk or moving my body every single day. It’s hard to get into a groove with moving our bodies, especially as busy mamas, I totally get that. But, nature is healing and can work wonders for our mental health and wellness. I made the promise to myself to walk outside every chance I can, and it has made all the difference. For about two months straight, I have been hitting 10,000 steps a day (I’m walking in place writing this blog post to hit my 10k LOL). Mama, when those anxious thoughts try take over, or you just need a break, get the stroller and take you and your baby for a walk. The fresh air and (hopefully) the sunshine will make that anxiety feel lighter.
Mama, the bottom line is that it’s hard to live with anxiety, or any other struggles that we face. It’s hard to find ways to cope and it’s definitely hard to ask for help or support, especially as a mom. Mama, please remember that your feelings matter, your anxiety is real, and you’re allowed to find ways to cope that work for you. You’re doing a lot better than you think. You are the best mama for your baby. You are amazing. You are not too sensitive. You are strong and courageous. I’m sending you all of my love, comfort, and peace today… and always.
All my love,
Nikki
