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Being able to effectively communicate with your loved one is the foundation of any relationship. The nature of any relationship is no more prominent than the ability to having meaningful and thoughtful conversations. Expanding the dynamics of how we converse may be the most ideal approach to improving within your relationship.
Tragically, the ability to effectively communicate with others is not something that is always taught to us. Most tend to learn these skills over time, trial-and-error, or by accident. On the off chance that you have never attempted to expand the way you communicate with your partner, the skills that you may possess, most likely has room to improve.
Here are some tips on some of the vital components to improving your communication skills:
Focus on the sentiments behind the words, rather than the individual who is saying those words
Analyze your partners mannerism and tone with what is being said. It is significantly more pleasant when somebody says, “It saddens me when you don’t hear me out” rather than calling out your partner for not being thoughtful and considerate when talking with you. When you emotionally flood the other individual, they will naturally become guarded. At the point when individuals are more protective with their words, this may lead to more volatile conversations consequently. You want your focus to alter the understand of the behavior associated with those words, as this is an aspect that can be modified and more productive than attempting to change who your partner is, which cannot be done.
Timing is everything
In the event that your loved one returns home from work and appears to have had a rough day, it probably will not be the greatest opportunity to share your struggles or challenges that occurred during your day. Pick when everybody is quiet and there are not many interruptions.
Ensure you are providing and focused and confident message
It is unjustifiable and ineffective to anticipate that your loved one must interpret and potentially guess at what you might be thinking. Be concise but inviting to be inviting in the conversation. Do not assume your contentment is dependent on any other individual, as you are the only person who holds that responsibility to make yourself happy. On the off chance that something is annoying you, make the effort to communicate your challenges with your loved one.
Be an Active Listener
It is not just about expressing what is on your mind. You additionally have an obligation to tune into your conversations. We cannot be listening if we are in our heads thinking about how we are going to respond. This will allow for key information to be presented to you that may be valuable into gaining some different knowledge about a topic to help improve some aspect of your life, whether you may know it at the time or not.
The Art of Finding the Middle Ground
Being able to find the middle ground in any conversation implies that both of you surrender something while being understanding of the other person’s feelings behind their words. All connections require this important aspect as it helps to build a more empathic relationship.
Think about the Conversation from Your Partner’s Perspective
We touched on empathy in the last section, which ties into our abilities to conceptualize the feelings of others. Attempt to take a moment and step back to look at the conversation from your partner’s perspective. This may potentially pave a different road map to your conversation with your loved one.
Converse in a Safe Space
Be responsive to the worries of your loved one. At the point when you may respond less than advantageously, your partner may be less inclined to convey whenever other opportunities present themselves. Establish a culture within your home that provides open channels of sharing without consequences. Express gratitude when those open channels and empathic conversations are being presented within your home.
Prevent Surrendering Just to Maintain Harmony
While that arrangement works for the time being, your emotions about the topic may not necessarily change. The issue may remain present which can lead to a slippery path to bitterness. We must consider our own feelings as well as being open to understanding your partners. Staying away from uncomfortable conversations will not mend the difficulty, rather postpone it for a later moment, with the added resentment towards the topic over that time built on to it.
Properly Cope with Past Missteps
We are human. We are flawed individuals. Continuing to revisit the past keeps yourself in the past and slows down your ability as a couple to grow towards your future journey together. Take focus to the here and now in your relationship, we cannot change the past, and we do not know where the future will take us. Enjoy the moment for what it is and be mindful of how beautiful the present moment is.
Assuming is Something We Need to Reduce
In relationships, we come across various situations where conversing with our partner may be a struggle and may be presented in a vague manner. Utilize your new skills acquired from the above sections to help achieve clarity during these times to eliminate the guessing game. This will allow you to comprehend the circumstance prior to moving forward with the conversation. It may very well be a straightforward misinterpretation. Assuming something that may be different from what was intended sets up for a detour towards another misunderstanding.
Compelling and kind words in your conversations with your love is essential for all couples. The ability to navigate a conversation is something that can define an overall partnership. Stay focused on creating an open culture within your home to allow for understanding all sides of a conversation. Staying away from addressing difficult situations and conversations will only add them to your plate later down the road. Be Assertive. Be Kind. Be Understanding. Be Open. Take charge of relationship by helping build a solid foundation on the way you communicate within your home, as this will benefit all for years to come.
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Nicole O’Hare, MS, LPC, CMHIMP is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider at A Beautiful Soul Holistic Counseling in Chandler, AZ along with completing Level 3 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which allows her to provide tools on helping couples communicate effectively and transform their relationship, which offering a more holistic and integrative approach to achieve optimal health and wellness while preventing common mental health problems. You can find her on: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
