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In a good, healthy relationship, your partnership is about being your best selves and helping each other do that. And, as your relationship strengthens, you might know each other better and help them in ways that is most fitting. In a partnership, you want your partner to have high self-esteem and feel happy within themselves. So, how can you do this for your partner?
One thing you can do for your partner is assist them in one of their goals. Specifically, you can help them during one of the most challenging steps in that goal. If your partner has been putting off their goal of getting back into the gym because it is too expensive, it might help to offer to pay this month’s membership fee. A small gesture might pick up momentum. This is a useful tip for relationships because it encourages collaboration. And, your partner will see that you are paying attention to what is important to them.
Next, if your partner continues to struggle with a step in their goal, help them see their strengths that can apply to this step. Your partner might be stressed about this step that they might be blind to their own strengths. Going back to the first example, your partner might not feel motivated enough to go to the gym today. However, you can counter this attitude by reminding them that they are ambitious and have a great work ethic. Point out what their strengths are and how these can help your partner in their goal.
Another way you can help your partner is to pursue a goal together. This might be especially useful when you and your partner have similar interests. This could be running a marathon together, building a patio, or strengthening your financial security. As pursuing goals can create emotional vulnerability, doing so together can allow the both of you to support each other, creating closeness and shared memories.
If you are comfortable enough, you can also point out their self-sabotaging habits. Often when your partner is so focused on a goal, they are blinded by destructive habits. For instance, if your partner was writing a novel, but, one of their weaknesses is being easily distracted. You want to point out this tendency in a way that is helpful to them, so, by trusting your judgement, they might adjust their behavior as a result. It is always acceptable to help your partner become aware of their tendencies in a way that will help them in the future, and vice versa.
Finally, you can help your partner by being a stable support figure. In relationships, the attachment theory states that partners feel compelled to explore when they have a secure attachment figure. If you are able to be emotionally balanced and responsive, your partner will feel secure in your relationship and also feel adventurous. This might mean listening to them after a rough day or being excited when something good happens to them. This will strengthen your relationship, as your partner has someone to share their success with.
