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Welcome to Parent, Child, and Adult: Healing our Inner Selves. This is a wholistic approach to emotional healing based upon the theoretical principles of Transactional Analysis. Transactional Analysis is a psychological theory developed post World War II to assist in treating childhood-based trauma and dysfunctional human interaction. We will also explore how Christian faith can be incorporated into this method.
This is a beginner, introductory level instruction on the Parent, Child, and Adult Theory. It is geared towards middle, high school and college level students. It is suitable for psychologists, counselors, social workers, marriage and family therapists, addiction counselors, clergy, religious leaders, and all medical professionals.
The Client
Shortly after graduating from Seminary 25 years ago with my Masters in Divinity and a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, I received a job working as a therapist and chaplain for an inpatient psychiatric hospital. One of my first clients was a young woman who was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, due to severe childhood sexual abuse. She would split into twenty-one childlike personalities. We had a team of clinicians comprised of a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, pharmacist, and psychiatric nurse who worked with her. She was the one who helped introduce me to the concept of the inner Parent, Child, and Adult. I dedicate this book to her.
The Goal
We will discuss the concept of the inner Parent, Child, and Adult, known as Transactional Analysis theory. We will explain how trauma affects the inner self. We will utilize Catholic theology in particular Trinitarian theology. We will apply Trinitarian theology to the concept of Parent, Child, and Adult. We will also identify solutions to healing our inner selves.
All People
All people are created in the Image of God and possess fundamental dignity. That dignity exists regardless of faith, race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or economic status.
The Child
Jesus says, “Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3
This speaks to the importance of being childlike to enter God’s Kingdom. Jesus did not say, unless you become like an adult you cannot enter the Kingdom of God. Neither did he say, unless you become like a parent you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus makes it clear there is something special about being childlike for the Kingdom of God.
The Triune God
The Catholic church has come to understand God as a triune Being. This means that God is One Divine Being or Essence who is comprised of three divine persons. Those divine persons are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. God the Son proceeds from God the Father. God the Holy Spirit proceeds from both God the Father and God the Son. The characteristics of God are that He is Good, Beautiful, and True.
Triune Person
All humans are made in the image of God. We reflect the Triune God in our nature. We also share in God’s divine nature. The parent reflects God the Father. The child reflects God the Son, and the adult reflects God the Holy Spirit. Like God, we are triune in nature. All humans have an inner child, an inner parent and an inner adult. We are one human being consisting of three persons or ego states. These three states are more than just roles we play, they are all real people. All three of these internal persons exist within us at the same time. Some people can hear their voices and feel their presence in their bodies. Some people report feeling their inner child in their stomach, chest, hands, neck, and head. Our interior life is a family. There is a deep spiritual connection within us. It is God who designed us this way so that we could come to know Him as The Triune God.
The Parent provides wisdom and instruction to the Child. The Child shares their needs and wants with the Parent. The Adult executes the will of the Child and the Parent in day-to-day functioning. It is the adult who primarily acts. It should not be the parent or the child who acts. The Parent and Child informs the adult of their needs and wants. Humans also share God’s divine nature. Like God, we are made immortal from conception.
The Child
The child is created at the of conception. This occurs from the sexual union between a biological man and woman. The child is infused with the Spirit of Life. The psalmist states “You (God) send forth your spirit, and they are created.” Psalm 104
Like God, the child is created good, beautiful, and true. Every human conceived, comes into the world as a child. The child reflects the Son of God. The inner child is immortal. Jesus makes it clear there is something special about being childlike for the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom extends from here on earth into eternity. The child is very important to God and His Kingdom. God gives the child the natural capacity through the Gift of Life to express and receive love. To express and receive joy. To express and experience peace. This comes through the Gift of Life infused into them from the moment of conception. The child also can manifest two types of states.
These states are the wounded child and healthy child. The child exists forever. Most people experience their child self between the ages of 3 and 11yrs old. Our child speaks to us throughout our lifetime. The classical term that describes the child is Pathos or Passion. This is the emotional and creative side of us. Our spirituality flows primarily through the child. Sexual feelings also flow through the child. This is why sexual abuse and betrayal is so painful to us. If the child is healthy and adaptive, they will be resilient. The child has the capacity to adapt to any situation presented to them. They can maintain the virtues of love, joy, and peace. The healthy child is not dominated by the voices of the critical parent or The Accuser.
The Son of God
The Apostle Paul writes that God the Son is the image of God the Father. He existed before all created things. By Him all things were created. All things were created through Him. All things were created for Him. In Him all things are held together. God the Father created everything for God the Son. He is the first born from the dead. He conquered the power of death. He is the pleasure of God the Father. All fullness and perfection dwells in the Son of God. All creation will be brought back into order in God the Son. Through the bloody sacrifice of God the Son, peace was restored between God and humanity. (Colossians 1:15-19.)
God as Child
Jesus as a child submitted to the guidance of his human parents Joseph and Mary. Even though He was the Son of God, he naturally submitted to the authority of His parents. Jesus like all children had a parent whom he was dependent on. God the Son shared in our human nature. He came into the world as a human child. He was born of a woman. It was a woman who brought the Son of God physically into creation.
The Wounded Child
If a child develops from a place of abuse, the child will see and experience the world from this perspective. The child is wounded when the parent does not protect them. The child is wounded from unrelenting criticism and abuse from the parent. A child is wounded when a parental figure refuses to protect the child from outside threats. Jesus, the Son of God experienced, shame, humiliation, abuse, neglect, brutal torture, and execution from the hands of men.
The Parent
The parent is created in the mind of the child from conception. The child experiences the parent from the moment of conception. Research has proven that infants in utero hear their mother’s voices and experience her emotions during the gestation period. From a nature point of view, it is self-evident that a child needs protection and nurturing from a parent to survive. Without the parent, a child cannot survive. The need within children creates a place of absolute dependence upon a parental figure to care for it. The child learns how to communicate with the parent to get its needs met. The child is like a blank slate upon which the parent can imprint their personalities. The parent has absolute power over the child and the child is powerless. Mothers speak about their children recognizing them and calming down after giving birth. Due to a child’s survival instinct, the parents voice is encoded into the mind of the child.
I have frequently heard adults talking about hearing the voices of their parents in their minds as if it was yesterday. The parent has absolute power over the child since the child depends on the parent for survival. The child develops moral ethics and is introduced to the sinful nature through the parent. The child learns how to communicate with the parent to get its needs met.
Within the context of that relationship, the parent instructs the child right from wrong. The child develops moral ethics first from the parent. The child is like a blank slate upon which the parent can imprint their personalities. Through the traumatic experience of birth, the child is placed into the arms of their parent or a parental caregiver. The child is stroked, breast fed, protected and kept warm. As the child grows through infancy, before they can talk, the child knows how to communicate with their parents. Through crying, cooing, and moving, they learn what is necessary to communicate with the parent. The parent communicates back to the child what is right and wrong. The parent, whether they know it or not, communicates all that they believe into the mind of the child by their words and actions…
For more please order the book with Color Pictures and Illustrations here:
Contact Information
Dcn. Kevin Stephenson. M.Div. M.A. LPC-S. BCC
Executive Director
St. Augustine Behavioral Health Systems/Association of Catholic Counselors
Broken Arrow, OK 74012
https://saintaugustinebehavioralhealthsystem.com
877-857-8010
