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I realized the pandemic had finally gotten to me, and I was looking forward to my first virtual meeting with my therapist to find some clarity. I had been obsessively checking the news for any developments, all the while feeling more discouraged and down. I felt the need to be grateful for the job I still had, but I felt guilty for being unable to work or focus. I was completely overwhelmed, and I found myself going between deep thoughts of “I can do this” and “I can’t do anything.” There were days I would wake up in tears thinking about the safety of my friends and family.
I had initially started therapy a few months ago to work on being more mindful and to put my anxiety at ease. Now, my therapist has been instrumental in calming my nerves in this moment. I always appreciate getting the opinion of an unbiased observer who is trained to help me be my best self.
This time, my therapist’s expertise was woven into how I could take care of me right now. They helped me draw the connection that what I’m feeling is totally normal – our communities are going through a collective trauma. We are adjusting to the new normal. We are grieving. We are just trying to survive.
And that’s OK. Just surviving right now is OK.
And contrary to what the internet may think we should be doing with our time, now is not the time to improve. Now is the time to tune in. To take this moment and connect with ourselves and discover what we need to survive.
My therapist reminded me that we don’t have to emerge from this cocoon as a butterfly. Right now, our priority is to survive.
-Shawn G.
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