What story do you tell yourself?

What story do you tell yourself?
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What is the dominant thought in your mind? 

What images are you repeatedly seeing?

What do you say to yourself, and how do you talk to YOU?

Anxiety is a belief that produces an emotion. 

Originates from thoughts/images/memories in the mind and induces reactions. 

Bodily reactions. 

It is Sunday afternoon and it is strange because I don’t feel like I have to go out and do something to feel better!

I am sitting here on the patio listening to birds on the trees in front, and I can feel peace in my body. 

I can actually feel it in the middle of my chest and it feels like a silky warm liquid flowing, a gentle glow.

Is this what inner peace is about? 

Really it doesn’t matter anymore. None of the things that mattered before do when I am feeling this way. 

I am wondering how come I could not feel this a few years back when I would just run out toward something to make myself feel at home, comfortable or at ease? Disappointed I gave up after trying it out for years. I had to find a way. I knew I had to commit and that was scary because commitment meant I have to do the work, the 

“home works.” And I was tired and sick of feeling this funk 24/7. 

I eventually gave in, stopped running away and sat with myself more than one time! 

Honestly, because there were no other options left, at that point I was desperate and wanting to change so bad that I would do anything to change these lingering circumstances that I could not kick out of my “home”! 

So I committed. 

It was the commitment to take myself, my life seriously that pivoted my direction. 

I had read the books, gone to seminars, workshops, listened to every YouTube self improvement and motivational video I could get my hands on yet did not get any lasting results. 

Wondering what am I doing wrong, what is it that has kept me caged in this loop?

Repeating the same scenarios, same patterns, same features, in different forms.

Not until I made the commitment fully and did the work required of me on a daily basis that I realized; oh, I get it. 

I had gotten the knowledge but never practiced it FULLY. I was not consistent. I gave up when it got hard. I moaned, complained. Became bitter, threw out my hands, pulled my hair, rebelled and cursed at the Universe, Why? Why is this happening? Why is this not ending? 

Finally I hit a dead end, couldn’t go any further. Weary, I turned and I find myself in front of a concrete wall.  At that point I fell to my knees and sobbed.

So I see now.

I can see what I could not see then. 

I had to fall apart like a humpy dumpy and fall in order to reconfigure! 

To be put back together in a different format.

And I did. 


Instead of bitterness 100 percent, I reduced it to a degree that did not induce cognitive dissonance. Started “acting” kinder to myself.

Stopped beating myself, well sometimes I even liked myself.

I “Imagined” every night! 

I cared!

I took walks with the little child in me in nature!

I took her hand and listened to her needs.

In the kitchen when nobody was around which was always the case I did a goofy dance with her and made sandwiches she liked!

I treated my wounded inner child with respect, and belonging in goofy silly ways. That is how I could have her relate and trust again.

I treated myself as a child who needed love, acceptance, and warm attention in order to trust and keep going.

Not giving up!

So I did.

Guess what? 

It worked!

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