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Practicing gratefulness while in the midst of profound grief may seem like a daunting task. When someone you love so dearly has died, how can you possibly think of things to be grateful for? How can you have a grateful heart when it has been shattered into pieces? Being grateful may not be something that you feel ready to practice. However, there is overwhelming evidence that shows practicing gratitude is associated with greater happiness.
Gratitude helps grievers feel positive emotions more often, helps them to be more mindful, improves their health, and helps to improve relationships, which are all significant aspects of grief. Practicing gratitude and living a life with a grateful heart, it allows us to heal from our suffering, even if it does not take all the pain away. Practicing gratitude is a transformative way of coping with our grief and loss. The power of gratitude is that it allows you to celebrate what you have while still acknowledging what you have lost. You are allowed to feel both emotions within gratitude; it is natural and normal.
Practicing gratitude every day, even if in small ways, can change your habits, mindset, and perspective on grief. Although it may seem overwhelming, there are some small steps that you can take to practice gratitude after you have experienced loss.
1. Try to acknowledge the little things. The little things actually seem to be the most important; they tend to take up the most room in our hearts and stick in our memories. Appreciating the little things in life, whether someone doing a favor for you or your morning cup of coffee, may help your healing in your grief journey.
2. Try to find one thing each day. There are ways to show gratitude, even amid grief. Try to take note of one small thing to be grateful for each day. Is it the sunrise? Gas in your car? A phone call with someone special? It may not feel natural or right to practice gratitude after a profound loss, but being mindful of some of the good things in your life may help you move through grief with a more meaningful outlook.
3. Practice self-kindness and self-gratitude. When grieving, it is easy to beat ourselves up and ask the what-if questions, sometimes filling ourselves with guilt and regret. During those times, know that your feelings are valid, but try to remember that you also deserve self-kindness and self-gratitude. Try to find some self-care strategies that work for you.
4. Write. You can start by writing a letter of gratitude to your loved one. You may find a gratitude journal helpful. Write your own thing each day to be thankful for on sticky notes or a grocery list. Writing your thoughts and emotions is therapeutic and aids in the healing process.
Practicing gratitude does not change the pain of your loss, but it can alleviate some of your suffering. So, how can you be grateful when your heart aches so deeply? You take it one blessing at a time. You are alive; you have a beating heart that will learn to carry your grief in a new way… maybe by practicing gratitude every day.
With love and gratitude,
Nikki
