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I wrote this blog post in the spring of 2022 while a grief counselor at a hospice agency. I hope you find it helpful every spring.
With warm weather just around the corner and the clocks set to change, a common phrase we hear is, “Time to spring forward!” There is also a common phrase that many bereaved individuals hear during their grief journey: “You need to move on.” Sometimes others may ask, “Are you over it yet?” Although the individuals who make these comments may not intend to be insensitive, someone in the deep sorrow of their grief can feel invalidated hearing these words. If you are someone who has experienced these phrases, please know that you do not need to move on or get over the loss of your loved one. Please know that there are ways to move (or spring) forward without feeling like you have to move on or get over your loved one.
How do we move forward with our grief without feeling like we have to move on? One way we move forward with our grief is by understanding that just like with the change of every season, every hour, day, and year will look and feel different for us. In order to move forward with our grief, we need to offer ourselves kindness and patience as we experience the myriad of emotions that arise with any significant loss; from sadness, anger, and guilt to joy and happiness again. We must process our grief and feel the emotions in order to begin healing.
Similarly, another way to move forward while carrying your grief is to take care of yourself: mind, body, and spirit. With the hopefulness of spring, maybe you can start walking outside a few times a week. Not only is exercise good for your mental and physical health, but being in nature is imperative for the healing journey. Moving forward with your grief can also mean acknowledging that your “forward” looks different than others. Sometimes moving forward in your grief journey is surrounding yourself with people who have experienced something similar. You do not need to go through your grief alone; maybe consider joining a support group or reaching out to a grief counselor for individual support.
No matter how you decide to move forward, know that it is your journey and that you are allowed to take as much time as you need to heal. Please try to remember that you can spring forward without moving on from your loss and your loved ones.
All my love,
Nikki
