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In a society polarized by politics, racial tensions & social justice issues, connecting with others becomes a difficult challenge. Emotional Intelligence (EI) research provides insight on key domains for healthy interpersonal functioning. “Numerous studies have shown that emotional intelligence scores are a good predictor of performance when it comes to critical life success factors” (Riopel, Msc, 2022). Moreover, EI is defined by a person’s ability to be self-aware, self-regulate, socially aware, & manage relationships (Riopel, Msc, 2022). To connect with others, its crucial to understand the impact of EI in social interactions. To begin with, self-awareness is the foundation to emotional intelligence. When we are self-aware, we’re able to notice how our thoughts affect how we feel, & behave (Tartakovsky, MS, 2014). This is important to note because sometimes we have an unconscious bias with certain life perspectives. Especially if you’ve been raised a certain way or went through something traumatic.
Self-awareness will help you self-regulate. Self-regulation allows one to manage emotions when triggered. This is especially important when you’re having disagreements with loved ones. Otherwise, your emotions will get the best of you. To be socially aware implies awareness of diversity in all its forms & empathy towards others in-spite of those differences. Everyone has a different life experience and that’s ok. You can disagree with others, & coexist. Lastly, efficient relationship management leads to healthy communication & conflict management. In sum, these domains of EI need to be cultivated to build stronger relationships. Moreover, self-awareness & self-regulation are the foundation to healthy relationships.
Dr. Brene Brown says it best “To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves” (Wong, 2021). In her book, “Atlas of the heart”, Dr. Brown emphasizes that “our connection with others can only be as deep as our connection with ourselves” (Wong, 2021). Connecting with yourself implies awareness to your headspace. Connecting with others implies your willingness to empathize with the experiences of others. The interpersonal connection is like a “salsa dance” (latin dance genre), each dancer is individually responsible to move to the timing of the music. Otherwise, you’re not “connected” to your partner & might step on their feet while dancing. To improve your social connections you need to listen, the same way a “salsero” (salsa dancer) listens to the music to guide their steps. Are you tuned in with your headspace, are you listening to others, knowing these answers will strengthen your relationship connections.
References
Tartakovsky, MS, M. (2014, May 27). 5 ways to strengthen your connection to yourself. Psych Central. Retrieved April 11, 2022, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-connection-to-yourself#1
Riopel, Msc, L. (2022, March 24). Emotional intelligence frameworks, charts, Diagrams & Graphs. PositivePsychology.com. Retrieved April 11, 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/emotional-intelligence-frameworks/
Wong, K. (2021, December 11). 30 best quotes from Atlas of the heart by Brené Brown. THE MILLENNIAL GRIND. Retrieved April 11, 2022, from https://millennial-grind.com/30-best-quotes-from-atlas-of-the-heart-by-brene-brown/
