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Maybe you have experienced this before: you know the kind of work you tend to complete at the level that is standard for you, but for some reason you just aren’t making it to that point so easily, if at all. You want to be able to spend time with others outside of work, but find yourself too exhausted to make any plans, let alone carry them out. You have a regularly scheduled social event that you ordinarily look forward to, but today you find you can’t stand to listen and everyone sounds like a teacher out of a Peanuts cartoon.
Welcome to Burnout
Burnout and depression have a lot in common as far as symptoms are concern. You can have a decreased interest in activities, feeling down or possibly sad, sleep changes, eating changes, etc. Burnout, however, has a much more definitive pathology then depression: Boundaries!
Depression may have any number of triggers and pathological pathways, but if you are at the burnout level of fatigue, there is a strong likelihood that you missed something important along the way. Let’s review what you can do to make sure you continue to perform at an optimal level.
We’re going to start off at the beginning so that you can make sure you protect yourself from fatigue: A! Yes we are doing letters, go with it. Awareness is the first step to, you guessed it, this ABC method of burnout prevention. (Go ahead and groan, but stop me when I’m wrong.) Awareness is setting a foundation of data for us to establish a baseline of functioning. What am I able to accomplish on a regular day? How does my body tend to react to my normal routine? How aligned is my thought process and my behaviors? Did I leave the stove on? Being able to ask the right questions on a continuous basis is important for understanding your baseline of functioning. Once you know how you operate under normal circumstances, Awareness is key so that you can begin to catch the early warning signs of trouble. Why did I not make all of my calls today? Did it really take me twice as long to finish my reports? Normally I love hearing this guy talk but all I can stand to hear right now is the distinct EEEEEEEEEEEEE of nails on a chalkboard, what’s up with that? Once you have an awareness of normal functioning and deviance from that normal level, then we start the process of protecting your precious limited resources.
B is for Boundaries! (Yes, we’re still doing the thing. Go with it.) Why do we need boundaries? What even is a boundary? Very good questions my psychic friend. First off, a boundary is best understood as a way to protect something that matters. We set a very *ahem* limited *ahem* mindset on boundaries when we describe them as a “line or limit for other people to blah blah blah.” A boundary is a way to protect something that matters, whether that is something external (money, property, people) or internal (energy, identity, dad humor). Boundaries are also not “just” for other people. I like to think of boundaries as similar to a castle gate. The gate can be open or closed. The gate is closed to what is identified as foe to keep harm out, but also to keep necessary resources in (think cattle ranch). The gate is open to let in friends and reinforcements or let out what needs to escape (think pressure release valve). Very few of our boundaries are as solid as walls, and these are called “non-negotiable boundaries” in which there is NO situation under which this line is to be crossed (darn it now I said it). There is NO excuse for physical assault, harrassment, name calling, etc. There is no situation in which these are acceptable. Therefore these are non-negotiable thick brick walls.
Ok, so I need to set some boundaries, cool. How do I do that Mister Therapist Person? Snark appreciated, psychic person. Our goal here is to [hopefully obviously] NOT run out of resources. I do NOT want you bankrupt of money NOR energy, so we need to set our boundaries to make sure we NEVER get that far. Think of yourself as driving down a multi-lane highway, with you in the center lane. In order for you to hit a tree on the side of the road, you would have to pass over reflective bumps marking a lane change, crossing painted lanes, crossing around other vehicles, crossing the shock track on the side of the road, likely crossing another fence, possibly a large swath of grass, a random communication pole, and THEN the tree. All of these are Early Warning Signs that you are headed towards a more dangerous boundary crossing or violation, with more dire consequences as you progress. Therefore, you want to make sure you STAY IN YOUR LANE (that’s right, I said it, all you gossips and literally every other person driving on I-95). When it comes to work, what are you expected to accomplish, in what time, utilizing what amount of internal resources, with what replenishment in the day? All of these are factors to consider in crafting healthy boundaries for you to maintain. Even with all that to consider, you may still not be able to effectively prevent this on your own, so what do you do?
C is for Consultation and don’t you even dare try to tell me you guessed that was the word here! What exactly is consultation, and what place does it have in this process? Take those in the helping profession, such as us therapists. We often find ourselves collaborating or consulting with other therapists in order to maximize our work with a client. We want to be able to do our best without leaving ourselves exhausted and neglecting the next person or our other responsibilities. You too can receive the same kind of help. Who do you go to when you don’t have critical answers in your life? Do you ACTUALLY use them or just pretend to hear them? Do you utilize the creativity of others to maximize your personal efficacy? These are the important questions in making sure you make the most out of your support. If you made it this far to read this article on this website, chances are you might have some gaps in your support. Please feel free to reach out to a therapist, as they may even offer a free *consultation* (gasp) to help figure out the right option for you.
Awareness, Boundaries, Consultation – Give me (or your other favorite therapist) a call and let’s figure it out together!
