5 Ways to Build Self-Esteem
It is possible to build or rebuild your self-esteem. Some struggle with believing that rebuilding is possible. I am here to tell you can do it! Simple tasks can help us be our better selves. This article will cover just a few ways to build or rebuild your self-esteem.
- Accepting Compliments
Compliments can be hard to hear from others when there were people in our lives telling us different narratives. They can also be difficult based on our negative self-talk. Often when we get a compliment, we water it down by explaining why you are getting the compliment.
Think about it. Has someone ever complimented you on your outfit and you said, “Thanks, I got it on sale at this cute boutique downtown”? What you are actually doing is convincing yourself they complimenting you finding that cute outfit. Rather than accepting the compliment for your ability to put together a cute outfit that also looks cute on you!
Next time, try a simple “Thank you!” It will feel so weird the first time you do this. It’s best to practice on those fly-by compliments that occur while you are walking down the hallway. This will help it get easier to accept compliments.
2. Relationship with Yourself
Having a relationship with yourself is essential for self-esteem. You will radiate beautiful self-confidence when you learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company. It can also help you identify your key values. There can be several ways to develop a relationship with yourself.
I like to tell my clients to date themselves. It’s one effective way to build that relationship. Take yourself to dinner and a movie. Or go to that farmer’s market you have been wanting to check out. Visit your favorite bookstore and enjoying getting lost in the bookshelves. Go on a date you wish someone would take you on, be that someone.
3. Change Negative Self-Talk
We are our own worst enemy. Often, we save all the negativity for us and we are kinder to others. We are often the most judgmental of ourselves. We have to learn to stop judging ourselves.
When you think negative thoughts, or if you are like me and you have said them out loud to yourself, you need to stop. Just stop talking and take a minute. Then ask yourself, “Would you say this same thing to a child?” If you wouldn’t say that statement to a child, you shouldn’t be saying that to yourself.
With self-esteem issues, we are often learning to heal our inner child. The child inside of us that was made smaller and hurt when we were an actual child. Learn to re-parent yourself by speaking kinder to you.
4. Surround Yourself with Supports
We are only as positive as the people we surround ourselves with in the world. If we are hanging out with people who are negative or constantly tearing us down, we are going to do the same to others and ourselves. Find the peeps that provide positives vibes only.
It is also important to have those people in your life that knows what is it like to go through you are experiencing. Join a self-esteem support through a local therapist or maybe a self-help support group that resonates with issues you are facing, such as addiction, emotional eating, or depression.
Another way is to find people who enjoy doing the things you like doing. Join that book club or maybe that sports league. Doing activities you enjoy also can increase self-confidence while being around people who are positive or build you up.
5. Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations can be the easiest way to help build or rebuild your self-esteem. Positive affirmations can also help with the negative self-talk we discussed earlier. They are like self-compliments, which, if you can accept them from yourself, it will help you accept compliments from others.
Positive affirmations can be mantras you say to yourself like, “I am strong. I am wise. I am amazing.” If it is hard for you to say them in moments when you are doing negative self-talk, I encourage you to write them down in times that it is easy for you to come up with them. There are also a few videos on YouTube you can watch if you struggle to find the words. Click here for one.
I often have my clients write them on post-its and place them in places they need to see them. I also have them write them on postcards and put them on like a ring to create a flip book you can carry with you in your purse or backpack to pull out when you need them the most.
Let’s talk more! If any of these resonate with you and you need more individualize help, please call me for a free consultation or book an appointment at www.believerecoverycounseling.com.