Crisis Prevention: Self Care Redefined

Self-care is one of those terms that has been stolen, repurposed, and lost most meaning. I truthfully have never really defined it until I started working in crisis. Because self-care is one of those terms that many associate with bubble bath and a bottle of wine, or used as a reminder to get fresh air and take a required 15 minute breaks at work, or simply meeting your basic needs. My definition of self-care: crisis prevention.

This definition requires you to reframe what a crisis is. Being crisis does not necessarily mean that you are thinking about dying by suicide (and if you are please utilize 988 in your local emergency resources). Being in a crisis means that you are unable to cope with your emotions, the environment, and the relationships that surround you.

This certainly could be thought of dying by suicide, but can also include work stress, can also include family responsibilities, and also include trauma reminders. So crisis prevention is implementing a healthy lifestyle for you right now, which becomes caring for yourself.

Prevention is Key

At the risk of taking on a metaphor that may be overused, think of self-care this way: “only you can prevent forest fires’” the famous lines from Smokey the Bear.

Crisis prevention and self-care means avoiding things that create stress in your life. Sometimes the only way to figure these things out, is to look back on previous crises and think about what happened then. Ponder these questions:

What was I experiencing at the time of this crisis? How much space did I have for my own needs? Did I feel supported and loved? Did I have a therapist and enough therapy for what I needed at that time? The answer to these questions will likely collate into a few commonalities.

Translated to the real world, maybe there’s a specific human that you don’t get along with that work. Self-care might indicate that you would need to avoid this person as much as possible and/or keep interactions related to work projects only. Or that means safeguarding your lunch and two 15 minute breaks (or whatever is legally required for your occupation) so you can eat and hydrate, because being hangry is not helpful. Maybe it means keeping the conversation of your Gnome decorations off-limits, simply because it makes you happy and would otherwise need to panic attack because you don’t feel like it will ever be good enough for your parents.

Limiting the Space

Unfortunately, we cannot avoid other humans in our world lest we be called hermits. The next step in crisis prevention and self-care are implanting strategies to deal with stress ahead of time and after something occurs.

The strategy of coping beforehand is called “cope ahead”. This means that you come up with a plan to deal with your anxiety and stress before an event that you know will be emotionally difficult. This might look like going for a walk or taking the stairs to your next meeting, and bringing something cold to drink as a grounding technique. After that meeting, you might plan to take your 15 minute break and sit next to your favorite tree.

Something helpful for this step is having a crisis kit, a first aid kit for your mental health. These tend to have items that engage your senses, Like tart hard candy, fidget toys, or something malleable like putty. You don’t need to buy everything all at once. Build this kit over the course of a month as you find things that are self soothing, enjoyable, and bring you back to your body senses.

House Cleaning

There is a poem by Nikki Giovanni called “House Cleaning”. The writer goes on to speak to someone/something unknown, and tells them that ” I find, I must remove you, from my life”.

There are some instances where no amount of prevention and coping with certain people, places, things. for situations like this, usually means setting a boundary to not engage with that person/place/thing for a period of time. Maybe it needs to be permanent. Each boundary needs to be explored, and we explored, on a regular basis. For some people this may look like quitting a job, while others no longer get drinks with that friend from high school/college. Whatever the case may be, I trust you know what that is.

None of these are easy, so pat yourself on the back for taking steps for doing this. You are continuing the journey of improving your mental forest. By keeping things that cause fires outside of your mental forest, taking care of the spaces that are scarred and burned, and clearing them out for something new, you continue the journey of self-care through crisis prevention.