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Women often connect self-care to productivity. Have you ever had a thought such as: “I can’t go to lunch because I haven’t finished that work project” or “I don’t have time for the gym today because the house is a mess?” Engaging in self-care activities only after reaching self-imposed productivity quotas causes us to feel guilty about taking time for ourselves.
If feel like you have to complete everything on your to-do list in order to “earn” self-care time, read on for three, therapist-approved tips you can utilize to help prioritize self-care without the guilt.
1. Stop connecting your self-worth to your productivity.
We’ve been taught a dangerous lesson: we are not worthy or deserving of feeling good unless we’ve reached an external or internal productivity quota. This ideology is damaging to our mental health because it becomes a barrier to practicing self-care, defined as taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health and happiness.
The truth is, time for self-care doesn’t need to be earned, it is a human right. You deserve to participate in self-care activities on a regular basis simply because you are a human being and as such require rest, relaxation, and time to reset in order to function optimally.
Adopting this perspective and doing the work to change your behaviors and thought process takes practice. A paradigm shift such as this is difficult and requires intentionality because the hustle culture we all live in has conditioned us to connect our self-worth to how much we accomplish. This conditioning happens daily, each time we are praised or rewarded for working overtime, taking on more responsibility, and reaching performance goals.
2. Reframe rest and self-care as productive activities.
Self-care, especially rest, shouldn’t be regarded as the antithesis of productivity. In fact, self-care is the intentional action taken to produce the capacity to meet other obligations at a later time.
Meagan Clark, MA LPC NCC BC-TMH is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Clinical Director of Her Time Therapy, LLC, a group therapy practice specializing in teletherapy for women. She received her Master of Arts degree in School and Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Adams State University and is a Board Certified Telemental Health Provider and Nationally Certified Counselor. As a women’s therapist, Meagan specializes in working with female-identifying teens and adults who suffer from trauma, relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and grief. She is also a Certified Holistic Cancer coach and is passionate about supporting cancer patients and caregivers. Meagan believes strongly in the empowering nature of integrative and feminist therapy to give women the knowledge and tools they need to navigate gender-based oppression, increase resiliency, and empower themselves to create a life they love.
