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I have seen self-talk become more popular in recent years, and for good reason. So what is self-talk?
Self-talk is the way that you talk to yourself. It is the inner voice that guides you and your decision making. But it does even more than that. It impacts the way you interpret the actions of others, the perspective that you have and the actions that you take. The way that you talk to yourself is very important and can reveal some major underlying beliefs you have about yourself, and the world.
In one modality of psychology, we call these core beliefs. What this means is you have strongly held beliefs about your place and value in this world, that has been shaped by your experiences from childhood up until now. The type of self-talk you have, can reveal those core beliefs. For example, someone who has the core belief that they must succeed in order to be loved, may have self-talk that include self-deprecation, especially when they have not achieved up to their standards. They may say things in their head like “you’re stupid” or “this is not good enough”. This drives their behavior to constantly perform for others or possibly set goals on the basis of other peoples standards. They may not value themselves unless they are working or performing or achieving. However, if they were to evaluate the way in which they are engaging in self talk, they could see that they do not often celebrate themselves. They would notice that they do not give themselves time to rest. They may notice that they are not happy.
This is why evaluating your self-talk is beneficial. To become more self-aware of your thoughts and feelings driving your behavior. However, the benefits don’t stop there. Once you are aware, you can begin to consciously change your thoughts. You can observe what thoughts are helpful or harmful for you to engage. Because believe it or not, you have the power to choose the thoughts you have. When you choose self-empowerment thoughts, your behavior will follow. Therapy can teach you specific techniques to evaluate your thoughts. Your therapist will also help you identify where thoughts may be harmful or not in alignment with your goals. They can challenge you to see things in another perspective.
Take a second today to just observe how you are thinking. What do you notice?
