As human beings, we all experience loss at some point in our lives. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a close relationship, the loss of a job, or the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams, grief is a natural and inevitable part of the human experience.
The truth is, however, that grief is not something that can be rushed, ignored, or avoided. In order to heal from a loss and move forward in life, we must allow ourselves to grieve fully and deeply. Grief is not an issue or problem to be solved, it isn’t temporary, it is not a moment in time, it’s a moment that will stay with us. It’s a pain that sits deep deep in our bone marrow. It’s just there and it sits heavy. This experience is tattooed on your soul. It changes who you are. It changes who you always thought you were.
While grief is a normal response to loss, many of us struggle with the process of grieving. We may feel pressure to “get over it” quickly or to keep our emotions under wraps. We may try to distract ourselves from our pain with work or other activities, or we may numb ourselves with drugs or alcohol.
Grief is an emotional response to loss. When we experience loss, our lives are fundamentally altered. Grieving is a natural process we go through to recover from loss, which can take such a different amount of time depending on how we manage our emotions. There are so many people who feel that they are not allowed to grieve, or that they have to hide their emotions. This can be reinforced by society, the workplace, or other reasons that expect people to ‘move on’ within a certain timeframe. Allowing ourselves permission to grieve is a crucial aspect of the healing process, and it is essential that we learn to be compassionate with ourselves in this difficult process.
But how do we give ourselves permission to grieve? Here are some steps we can take:
1. Recognize that grief is a normal process
One of the first steps in giving ourselves permission to grieve is to understand and accept that grief is a normal and necessary process. It is a natural response to loss, and it allows us to process our emotions and come to terms with the reality of our situation.
2. Allow yourself to feel your emotions
Grief is a complex and a whole body emotion, and it can manifest in many different ways. Some people may feel sadness and despair, while others may feel anger or guilt. Some people may experience physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or loss of appetite.
Whatever your particular experience of grief may be, it’s important to allow yourself to feel your emotions. This means not trying to stuff your feelings down or distract yourself from them, but instead acknowledging them and letting them flow freely.
3. Give yourself permission to take time off
When we are grieving, it can be difficult to maintain our regular routines and obligations. We may feel overwhelmed or exhausted, or we may be unable to concentrate on our work or other responsibilities.
In these situations, it’s important to give ourselves permission to take time off. Whether that means taking a few days off work, canceling social plans, or simply spending some quiet time alone, it’s important to prioritize our own needs and take care of ourselves during the grieving process.
4. Seek support from others
Grief can be an isolating experience, but it’s important to remember that we don’t have to go through it alone. Seeking support from others can be incredibly helpful in the healing process.
This may mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, joining a support group, or seeking professional counseling. Whatever the form of support, having someone to talk to and share our experiences with can help us feel less alone and more understood.
5. Practice self-care
During times of grief, it’s important to prioritize self-care. This means taking care of our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Some ways to practice self-care during grief might include:
- Eating nutritious foods
- Getting enough sleep
- Engaging in physical activity
- Practicing mindfulness or meditation
- Deep belly breathing
- Engaging in creative activities that bring us joy
- Spending time in nature
- Seeking spiritual or religious practices that bring us comfort
By prioritizing self-care, we can help ourselves to manage the symptoms of grief and feel more grounded and centered during a difficult time. The importance of permission to grieve cannot be overstated. It is essential to remember that grief is a natural process, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone will experience grief differently, and the way we grieve can also change over time. It is crucial that we are compassionate to ourselves and others in this process, allowing ourselves to cry, scream, or express our emotions in whatever way is helpful for us. By doing this, we can release our emotions and begin to process our loss, leading to a healthier experience of grief overall.
Permission to grieve also means that we do not have to ‘move on’ from the loss as quickly as possible. It is possible to grieve a loss for as long as we need to, and it is essential that we do not force ourselves to ‘get over it’ or suppress our feelings. Rushing the grieving process can result in incomplete healing, leading to further mental health issues in the future.
Giving ourselves permission to grieve is a crucial part of the healing process. By recognizing that grief is a normal response to loss, allowing ourselves to feel our emotions, taking time off when needed, seeking support from others, and practicing self-care, we can move through the process of grief with more ease and grace.
