5 Questions to Ask Yourself for Better Self-Care Practices

Self-care is a term that gets thrown around often today in the counseling/psychology world.  I have listed 5 questions to ask yourself to achieve better self-care practices. 

1. Ask yourself “Is this healthy?”  Knowing whether something is healthy or not is extremely important.  Sometimes we might think something is healthy for don’t really take the time to investigate whether this is true or not.  Asking yourself “is this healthy?” gives yourself the time that is needed to inspect whether the decisions you are currently making are wise or not. Asking yourself this question helps slow down your thinking process to help making a better decision.  

2. Ask yourself, “Is this person healthy for me?”  We don’t always get to choose who is around us. None of us choose who our parents or siblings are for instance. Many relationships are unhealthy.  This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to separate from an unhealthy relationship completely. Maybe you need to speak up about what is going wrong. Maybe you need to distance yourself from someone but not leave completely. Maybe you do need to completely separate. But asking this question allows you to start examining the relationships around you.

3. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?”  Your feelings are incredibly important tools. But they are only tools.  If we use tools in a wrong way then they can be destructive.  Same thing with emotions.  We need to make sure we are correctly identifying our emotions. If you are feeling sad this is an indicator that something is wrong. Maybe you had a loved one that recently passed. In this situation what is wrong is you lost someone you loved! It is completely acceptable to feel sad in this circumstance. Our feelings help guide us. While we shouldn’t let our feelings dictate our actions it is wise to listen and identify these feelings.

4. Ask yourself, “What can I do about it?” Sometimes we have struggles that are self inflicted.  For instance, if my problem is that I am procrastinating on a project for work then the answer to this question is to stop procrastinating and work! Other times the answer to this question isn’t so simple. We may need to really dig down deep to see how we can rectify the situation. There are also times where we can do absolutely nothing about it! It is in these situations that we must learn to accept there is nothing more I can do about it. In my life this is where my faith comes into play. I must trust this situation is beyond my control and have faith that God will work it out for his glory. This brings me peace.

5. Ask yourself, “What are my go to coping skills?”  We need to have healthy coping skills to promote mental wellbeing. Different situations call for different coping skills. For example, my favorite coping skill is going for a walk. I know if I am overwhelmed, taking a walk helps me process through my problems better. For you maybe it is journaling. Maybe it is talking to a family member or your pastor. Maybe it is singing a song or painting a picture. Be creative! This answer is going to be different depending on who you are. It is best to have a few different ideas that way you can use them in different situations.  If it is -10 degrees outside and snowing then going for a walk wouldn’t be a good idea for me!  You need to have a few different coping skills to implement in different situations. Using healthy coping skills is a very effective way to help you deal with difficulties in the moment.

I hope these 5 questions serve you well in your life journey!