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You’ve got a little one now. Congratulations! This new season of life is full of complex feelings of joy, fear and loss. Perhaps, life postpartum just isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe your past childhood trauma (that you worked so hard on in therapy) has popped back up again in light of now being a parent yourself. Maybe you’ve forgotten who you are beyond your role as care taker. Here are a few things that help you to settle in a bit more.
1. Ask For Help:
Baby likes it best when you hold them. I get it! It feels so good to be needed. But there are other care taking related tasks that don’t require your special touch. Like taking the diaper pail garbage out. Washing all those burp cloths and sleep sacks. If you have someone in your life that is willing to help, odds are they just don’t know the exact things they could do to make themselves the most useful. Send them a text and ask them to bring you some food! You are tired! And hungry!
2. Leave The House:
Get outside! Put actual clothes on. There is a whole world out there. It can be anxiety provoking to pack the diaper bag and worry about crying in public (you or your child!) but it can be a soothing balm to that postpartum isolation.
3. Get Some Parent Friends:
This one is crucial! Chat up those other sleep deprived parents at the park or library. Join a new parent group in real life or online. Talk naps and diaper blowouts with them. Commiserate on the terror and joy of it all. Having fellow parent friends can make a long lonely day go by faster. Talking to another person about your struggles can also offer some reality testing. No you are not the only one checking on your sleeping babe multiple times a night!
4. Take Care Of Yourself:
Okay this is a broad category! Including things like; massage, a solo walk to the coffee shop, a hot shower, yoga or mediation. I know I said no baths but they really are great! Taking care of yourself can also mean eating good food, letting someone else hold the baby, letting the baby cry for minute while you gather yourself together.
5. Set Boundaries
Another way to take good care of yourself is by setting boundaries! For real, self-care also means setting some borders on what you are able or willing to do. If someone really wants to come over today for a visit but you are just not feeling it because that person just talks about themselves the whole time or the baby is having a particularly fussy day, just say no!
6. Go To Postpartum Therapy:
You knew this one was coming right?! Postpartum depression or “baby blues” is a serious thing and there are trained professionals out there to help! Having a space to be honest about your feelings and experiences can help you be the parent you want to be. Learn more about postpartum support in Portland, OR.
