“I should be smarter.”
“I shouldn’t say no to them.”
“I should’ve studied harder.”
“I should’ve done more.”
“I should’ve said yes.”
“I should be polite.”
“I should’ve listened to them.”
“I should just ignore it.”
“I shouldn’t be so emotional.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
How exhausting is the mental gymnastics of all the shoulds you have for yourself? Karen Horney coined the term “Tyranny of the Shoulds”. The implication is that we have split ourselves into two—our real self and our ideal self. When we fail to meet all the expectations or shoulds we have for our ideal self, in comes the inner critic, reminding us of all the ways we’ve failed to measure up. It’s the never ending chase of perfection. Maybe you’ve found yourself wondering what it would be like to rest and embrace your real self? The one that’s allowed to mess up without feeling guilty, to get it right and feel accomplished, to fail without feeling ashamed?
If you’re tired of being enslaved to your ideal self and are curious as to what self-compassion looks like, please contact me. I want to help you love yourself well and embrace your authentic self.
