Divorce Therapy: What It Is and How It Can Help

Divorce therapy is counseling that supports you before, during, or after the end of a marriage. It can help you think through a hard decision, work through grief, and find calmer ways to co-parent.

Feeling sad, angry, relieved, or all of these at once is a common response to a change this big.

We put this guide together to explain your options and how to find a therapist who fits your situation.

What Is Divorce Therapy?

Divorce therapy, also called divorce counseling, is talk therapy focused on the end of a marriage or long-term partnership. You can get support at any poing, including while you are still deciding what to do or long after the divorce is final.

You can go on your own, with your spouse, or with your family. Before looking at those options, it helps to understand how divorce can affect your well-being.

How Common Is Divorce, and How Does It Affect Mental Health?

Divorce is a familiar experience for many U.S. families. In 2023, the divorce rate was 2.4 per 1,000 people, based on the states that report this data.

Even when ending a marriage is the right choice, the change can be hard on you.. Divorce is linked to higher health risks over time, and money changes after a split can add stress.

When that stress starts to affect daily life, a professional may call it an adjustment disorder, which is a strong emotional or behavioral reaction to a stressful life change. Divorce is one of its common triggers, and symptoms often ease within about six months, especially with support.

Curious what kind of therapist would be right for you?

We’ve helped over 500,000 find a therapist that fits for free.

Take Our 5-Minute Survey

What Are the Different Types of Divorce Therapy?

Divorce therapy comes in a few main forms, each suited to a different need.

Discernment Counseling for Couples Who Are Unsure

Discernment counseling is a structured approach for couples where one partner is leaning toward divorce and the other hopes to stay together. Couples work toward one of three paths, which are keeping things as they are, moving toward divorce, or committing to couples therapy.

Research is still limited. In one small study, people who went through discernment counseling and later divorced said it helped them cooperate as co-parents.

Individual Therapy During and After Divorce

Individual therapy gives you a private space to work through grief, anger, guilt, or relief at your own pace. Approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps you notice unhelpful thought patterns and try new responses, can help you adjust to a stressful change.

Co-Parenting Counseling

Co-parenting counseling helps you and your former partner communicate about schedules, rules, and big decisions while keeping the focus on your children.

Structured programs can also help. In a large trial, a 10-session program for separating parents strengthened parenting skills and reduced children’s mental health problems in some families.

Support for Children

Many children feel painful emotions at first and bounce back within two to three years. Kids also tend to do better when both parents stay positively involved, as long as both are safe caregivers. A child or family therapist can give kids a safe place to talk about their feelings.

What Happens in Divorce Therapy?

Whichever form you choose, your first session usually focuses on what brought you in and what you hope will change. Common topics include the following.

• Grief and loss. Ending a marriage can bring grief even when you choose to leave, and therapy can help you manage this. 
• Guilt and self-blame. Your therapist can help you notice harsh thoughts and respond to them with more balance and compassion.
• Talking with your children. Sessions may help you plan how to share the news and keep routines steady across two homes.
• Rebuilding your routine and sense of self. Many people use therapy to reconnect with friends, interests, and goals.

When Is It Time to Talk to a Therapist About Divorce?

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from support. Consider talking with a therapist if you notice any of these signs.

• Sadness, worry, or anger feels stronger than you expected or isn’t easing over time.
• You are having trouble sleeping, eating, working, or caring for yourself or your children.
• You are drinking more or relying on other substances to cope.
• Conflict with your former partner keeps spilling into your children’s lives.
• You feel stuck on the decision about whether to stay or leave.

If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, you can call or text 988 at any time to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Put Safety First if There Is Abuse

If your relationship involves physical harm, threats, or controlling behavior, couples counseling is generally not recommended, partly because what is shared in sessions may later be used against the person being harmed.

Individual therapy can still help. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 by calling 1-800-799-7233, texting START to 88788, or chatting online at thehotline.org. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 if it is safe to do so.

When you feel ready to look for a therapist, a few details can help you find a good match.

How Do I Find a Divorce Therapist?

There are several different types of therapists.  You are most likely to see these credentials.

• Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). LMFTs are trained to view personal struggles through the lens of relationships and family systems. What this means for you as a client: an LMFT looks at how patterns in your marriage or family shape what you feel, which suits discernment counseling and co-parenting work.
• Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). LCSWs are trained in psychotherapy grounded in a person-in-environment perspective, which considers how relationships, community, and life circumstances shape mental health. What this means for you as a client: if divorce has shaken up housing, work, or money, an LCSW is often trained in case management and can connect you with community resources.
• Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC or LPCC). LPCs have master’s-level counseling training with a practical, skills-based approach. What this means for you as a client: if you want concrete tools for stress or tough conversations, an LPC can help you build them.
• Psychologist (PhD or PsyD). Psychologists have doctoral-level training in psychotherapy and psychological assessment, often with deeper specialization shaped by research. What this means for you as a client: if depression or anxiety has worsened during your divorce, a psychologist can offer a thorough evaluation.

You can find a therapist through a referral from your doctor, your insurance plan’s provider list, or an employee assistance program. We also created Mental Health Match to make this step easier, and it is free to use. You answer a few questions about your needs, preferences, and budget, and we introduce you to five therapists best suited to help. Most offer a free consultation, and our guide on finding the right fit can help you choose.